


time goes bye

by AmandaBecker



Series: second chances [2]
Category: Sanditon (TV 2019), Sanditon - Jane Austen
Genre: Emotions, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Feelings, Hurt, Sidlotte - Freeform, Suffering, Time Travel, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:21:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22663144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmandaBecker/pseuds/AmandaBecker
Summary: At an important wedding party, Sidney has trouble keeping his emotions in check.He and his friends sit down and talk about their memories.
Relationships: Charlotte Heywood & Sidney Parker, Charlotte Heywood/Sidney Parker, Lord Babington/Esther Denham, Mary Parker/Tom Parker (Sanditon)
Series: second chances [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1629343
Comments: 12
Kudos: 47





	time goes bye

**Author's Note:**

> This is the second part for the #6 days valentines challenge from @sanditoncreative.  
> prompt 'timetravel'

With clenched teeth Sidney stood at the edge of the dance floor and stared at the bridal couple dancing. His heart was beating wildly and tears tickled behind his eyelids as he closed his eyes briefly to avoid just that. Reluctantly, he looked up again and took a look at the happy couple once again.

They looked into each other's eyes in love. He, tall and his short black hair combed from his face, with a lovesick expression that made him look even stupid. Well, he wasn't stupid. This guy was anything but stupid, after all, he had convinced this wonderful girl, this beautiful and intelligent young woman so much of himself that she wanted him as her husband. And she loved him, he could tell by the glint in her eyes and slightly reddened cheeks.

She looked in his direction a few times, then a shadow briefly covered her pretty face, but after Sidney smiled at her and convinced them both with a nod that everything was all right, she turned back to her newlywed husband. Sidney saw some stubborn dark curls steal from her updo and curl up in her neck. The memories that flooded his mind then conjured up a brief smile on his face. That one little curl that reminded him of the one little curl that drew his attention to a beauty spot he had never noticed before. At the first ball in Sanditon after Antigua. Time goes bye.

He traveled back to the ball that had changed his life. The first ball of some which followed and joined the ranks of being life changing.  
At first, he hadn't felt like it and had travelled back to Sanditon annoyed. After he had met Mary and her guest, his thoughts kept circling around the young lady. When he entered the assembling room at that particular evening and his eyes instinctively glided in her direction, he hardly noticed the steps he was climbing down.  
She was a picture. Innocent and pure. Real. Neither fashionable nor forced, not overdone or too elegant. She was just her. But she couldn't be real. He just needed to find proof that she was like everyone else. But she wasn't.

Images of this first Sanditon ball still came to his mind. A similar white dress to what the bride wore today, but with blue applications. A feather in her hair, not pearls. But also little curls that had escaped the needles of her hairstyle here and there.  
Charlotte had been so beautiful. And overwhelmed by the light and the music, the heat and him, as she had confessed to him sometime later. And he was irritated by her and kind of cornered. That's where they had their first fight. He raised his eyes and stared at the balcony, the balcony where he had given her the first tongue lashing. The balcony where he was going to propose to her months later. Oh, how he still cursed Sir Edward Denham for the interruption.  
He sighed and sipped his wine as he glanced at the smiling couple in the middle of the dancefloor. Time went slowly. Tonight.

"You must get over it, old boy!" said his friend Babington in a soothing tone, patting him on the shoulder.  
"If your wife sees your face, she'll be angry." he grinned pityingly at his friend, but Sidney just shrugged his shoulders as if he didn't care. But he did care. He knew exactly that she watched him from a distance as she spoke to Mary. She raised one eyebrow and he nodded in her direction, even though he avoided her gaze. He wanted to be alone with his thoughts. For the moment.

"What's wrong, Parker?" Babington asked. Sidney answered with a sigh,  
"Oh, I was just thinking how time goes bye," he sipped on his wine, "then you have to take a step back and remember!“  
„What you're doing right now?“  
"Yes." Sidney smiled at his friend and a small tear stole into the corner of his eye, which he could wipe away unseen. The day made him very emotional.  
„And what exactly are you thinking about?“ his friend asked him curious.  
"There are a few people in this room who took their second chance."  
"Like You and your wife or Esther and me?“ He remembered another celebration in this room. At the Midsummer Ball, as Esther gave him her hand, he was the happiest man in the world.

Sidney turned his back on the dance floor with the happy newly married couple and strolled with Lord Babington to the tables. There they sat down and Sidney said to him,  
„Yes you took the opportunity and look at you, how happy you are.“  
„Yes we are.“ Babington searched for his wife who was standing across the room, talking to Georgiana. 

„Georgiana and Otis got their second chance, too.“  
„Yes, I never thought he would. But he's so changed.“  
„With your help...“ Sidney chuckled briefly.  
„Not to forget Tom and Mary.“ he said than.  
And they both remembered.  
„It was a terrible time.“ Babbington declared. Sidney flinched briefly, remembering the pain Tom's stupidity had caused. However much time goes bye, it still hurt.

"Yes, it was." Sidney was now not so sure if it was a good idea to go into it. Today. But if there was one thing he had learned over the years, it was that you had to get things done, sometimes at any cost.

Sidneys mind travelled back in time again.  
After the first crisis was over and everything was going well, Tom had gotten himself into trouble again and got into debt that nobody knew anything about. But he had also learned from his mistakes and committed himself to work off his debts for the man he owed the money to. Even from Sidney or the ’Sandion Holding’ he did not want to accept any help or money this time. Tom owed him his life and he would never be able to make up what he and Charlotte had suffered because of him.  
Except for a few short visits, Tom had been on a merchant ship for almost three years and came back a more settled and quiet man. Sanditon no longer comes first. 

"Tom!" Crow cried, as he sat down on the table as well.  
"Oh, you seem to be having a serious conversation," Crow realized.  
"It's about time and second chances," Babington explained, and Sidney looking his brother straight in the eye, as he sat down, too.  
"Oh yes, I can sing a song about it..." Tom began to tell the story of his life with great enthusiasm, but Sidney stopped him in time, because he wanted not only remember the life of Tom Parker. He wanted to celebrate life as his wife had advised him earlier. She knew how emotional he got when it came to weddings. After all, this was one of the most important weddings he had ever attended.

"Yes we know that." Sidney said through greeted teeth.  
Tom stroked his hair, and with a moved voice he explained,  
"I am happy that Mary gave me the chance and you all show me how important...".  
"Family is" interrupted Mary, who lightly put a hand on Tom's shoulder.  
"Yes of course!" cried Tom, but then bent over to his brother and said,  
"I no longer take all of it for granted. Thanks to you."  
He then turned around and pushed Mary onto the dance floor. Mary laughed and shook her head vehemently. But of course she didn't stand a chance against Tom's enthusiasm.

The three remaining men looked after him, shaking their heads. They all remembered other times. Crow had found happiness, too.  
"You sit there like two old men," he shouted and he emptied his glass.  
"What is it, Crow?" Babington asked laughing, "your wife lets you out and you drink like you used to, back in time?" The three laughed out loud.  
"No, I haven't gotten drunk in a long time." Crow replied nodding and a smile made his face look younger.  
"She knows exactly when I've been drinking. I wouldn't be surprised if she knew how much, too.“  
"Surely she knows!" cried Babington cheerfully.  
"How should she know?" Crow asked, still laughing softly.  
"But...I don't know, I guess it's love that makes her have that look... You know, like... I don’t know... Clara has that look..." Crow said seriously, and his two friends knew exactly what he meant.

Things change, some things remain. Babington remembers very well the first time Esther's gaze met him and cast a spell over him. It was exactly in this room. Before he knew what happened to him, he was lost. And he still was. No matter how fast time passes and for him it just ran too fast.

It was very different with Sidney. For him, as soon as he felt his love, time stopped. They sensed each other before they saw each other. That had been the case, at that time of the first Sanditon regatta when Eliza had hurt her and he had done nothing about it. He wanted to approach her slowly, when she was standing in the tent, but she felt his presence and looked straight at him before she ran away. And it was exactly the same vice versa. He felt her presence before she walked through the curtain and met him on the balcony at the midsummer ball. He looked up again briefly and noticed that now the bride was approaching him. He knew what would follow. For sure she wanted to dance with him.  
One last time.

But time passes very slowly today. Her way to him was interrupted by the guests who congratulated her again and so Sidney said his goodbyes and could sneak away until he stood on the balcony. But instead of staying at the balustrade, he remained under the protection of the shadow. Until his heart made skip a beat. Then it thumped like mad. Goose bumps and that warmth he felt as soon as she came closer.  
It overwhelmed him that she still had this effect on him., after all this time.

"You are hiding" she said calmly.  
"No... I..." he tried and failed.  
She placed herself next to him and her scent penetrated him.  
"I am ... erm ... avoiding."  
"The inevitable cannot be avoided." she looked up at him.  
"I know." he locked his eyes with hers.  
"We agreed you'd...behave yourself."  
"I do."  
"Do you think I'm blind?" she muttered.  
"No."  
"I can see that it hurts you."  
"Yes, it does."  
"Me too."  
"I know." his voice husky and full of emotions.  
"Try to make her happy."  
Now the tears were in both eyes again. Charlotte reached for his hand, lifted it to her mouth and kissed it.  
"I love you."  
"I love you."  
"Come dance with me." she whispered.  
"Of course." 

And in the shadow of the curtain he kissed her. One little kiss. His warm lips on hers. Too short. Their eyes locked. There was a promise between them.  
Time goes bye. Slowly, stretched and overwhelming, as it always was between them when they lived those moments. Nothing could undo the way they loved each other.

When they arrived on the dance floor, the music was already playing and their both minds returned to the ball in London, where they both realized that they were in love with the other. It was the same piece of music. They looked up and Tom smiled at them from across the room, it was one oft he little things he did every now and then for them.

Sidney was happy to hold Charlotte in his arms as they repeated the dance, looking at each other just as penetratingly and slightly removed from the world. No matter how much time passed, he was still the man he was then. Tall and broad and irresistibly attractive. Though his hair slowly grew grey at his temples.

Charlotte was still the most beautiful and desirable woman for Sidney. His love for her was deep and honest. Nothing had ever changed that. When the music came to an end, they stopped, as then completely enchanted by each other, and he held her hand to his chest again.

"You're unbearable." an annoyed voice interrupted them as another piece of music began. They both grinned and nodded. But then they swapped partners without another word. The groom's father did not try to stop Charlotte from staring at Sidney the whole time. Otis understood how love worked.

"Hope, I'll miss you." Sidney admitted outright to the happy bride in his arms .  
"I’ll miss you too," she smiled.  
"Diarmid will make you happy."  
"Yes," she laughed for a moment, "I hope we'll be as happy as you and Mama."

When the dance was over, Sidney said goodbye to his daughter and her husband, who had just take her for the next dance. He went his round and said goodbye to all the other guests and excused Charlotte who, as he knew from Otis, was already waiting for him outside. Otis pressed Georgiana firmly to himself, who, like Sidney, was struggling with the emotions. It was hard for both of them to let their children go. Separation and loss were their constant companions. 

"Time passes so quickly. Suddenly we are old.“ Georgiana tried to joke.  
„We are not.“  
„Of course. Look at t Hope and Diarmid. They are so young." and then she hugged him until Arthur asked her to dance with him once more.

When Sidney arrived outside, the sight of Charlotte once again overwhelmed him. She stood there, her head stretched to the sky, watching stars and taking a deep breath. He strolled over to her, interlaced his fingers with hers and then kissed her knuckles and wrist. 

"Let's go home." he breathed and dragged her with him.

And at these words, he travelled back again. This words, which she had said before at the time when a walk around the cliffs ended in a rainy disaster. Her clothes were soaked and her hair stuck to her face and neck. They had fled home and tore off their clothes as soon as they were in the house. It was cold and she was shivering and he took Charlotte in his arms and carried her into the bedroom. The same memory played in her head, as she smiled at him and kissed him tenderly on the mouth.

„I cannot wait.“

**Author's Note:**

> Diarmid is an old irish name and it's meaning is 'free man'.  
> We all knew what the name Hope means.
> 
> You can read it as an one shot, or as a little continue to my story 'Fate'.


End file.
